Social media has opened the avenue to produce relatable content in short, easy-to-digest videos. And that’s exactly how a doctor on TikTok garnered the interest of those in the field of psychiatry and medicine in general. The Bunny Barbie sits down with Future @Doctor.Ryan to talk about his experiences and realizations in starting a career in TikTok, giving his followers bits of knowledge in navigating through life using psych. They also discuss the negative aspects of family vlogging, Dr. Ryan’s medical studies and coming out story, Bunny’s mom experiences, thoughts on the presidential election, and the processes involved in pregnancy – particularly in birthing twins.
Watch the episode here:
Listen to the podcast here:
Behind The Scenes Of TikTok’s Future Doctor With Dr. Ryan
How are you?
Thank you for having me.
I’m excited to have you here. We have so much to talk about and I have some juicy tea to tell you, which I’m excited about.
Do you want to tell everyone who you are, where you’re at and what you do?
My name on TikTok is @Doctor.Ryan. For legal purposes, I go by Future @Doctor.Ryan because I’ll be a doctor next May 2021, so I have the username. I’ve hit the end of medical school and I decided on psychiatry. It’s like your senior year of high school where you get to have a life and be a human being again. I jumped on TikTok and I started talking, which is fun. It’s different. I tried dancing for a hot second and I was like, “I’m done.” One thing that’s close to my heart and a lot of people’s is children. Every single person is a child at some point in their life.
We live in this new era where the internet is available and you’ve seen it rapidly changed as teenagers and adults, but it’s like a one-year-old with the iPad. In your third year of med school is like a Costco sample of different specialties. You go around and do a little bit of each specialty like OB-GYN, pediatrics and psychiatry. During pediatrics, I saw a four-year-old with an iPhone and a two-year-old playing on the iPad, I was like, “Wow.” I started talking on TikTok about family vlogging. That’s one thing. The ethics behind it and how it’s going to mess up kids.
I’ve never seen anyone else do family vlogging but you. Is there anyone else on TikTok that does it?
I’ve seen a couple of people talk about it after me, but there are some people on YouTube that talked about it, but not exclusively. The thing is we need someone to step up to the plate.
There’s no regulation or anything. It’s crazy.
We look at these child actors and I almost think they have it better than family vloggers because they’re being shown some character like Lindsay Lohan. She was the mean girl or she was a bunch of characters, but that wasn’t her personal life. The best part about when you turn eighteen is all of that gets to go behind you, your mistakes and your childhood. You are a new person to reinvent yourself.
I love how you’re bringing awareness to it. I’ve never watched a family vlog in my life. I didn’t even know any of that was out there. Did you start seeing kids and then you knew about family vlogging and it came to you?
I had seen a lot about it. I watch YouTube or I did during med school. That was my stress relief. I’d hear people talk about it. It was more people would make a video like, “I think this is wrong, but whatever.” I haven’t seen anybody call people out. It’s not to be mean, it’s to protect children and help people understand that it’s not okay because these people make a lot of money. These people are millionaires. They make a lot of money at the expense of their child. The textbook definition of exploit is to make full use of a resource and that’s what you do. I don’t think all of these people have bad intentions, but the money’s coming in. Let’s keep milking the child because it’s okay. You have no idea what that kid’s going to want down the line and you’re a mom.
This is why I keep my son off social media. He says “Hello,” or whatever and talk about space, but he’s not the focus by any means of my page.
That’s what I like about it. You set a good example. Most people don’t post pictures of their kids to get famous or make money off the child. When that is your plan, that’s completely different than sharing pictures with them.
That’s why when I saw your page, I’m like, “I need to dive more into this. How do I keep my son safe?” Stuff like that. I think it’ll be good too for the other girls that are doing the show with me to tune-in to this show.
Anything in general like that, I connect with.
After I saw the video where you said where Kendall Jenner had her period and they put it on TV, I had a Zoom meeting with MGM and I was like, “I’m worried about my son’s safety and stuff.” They were like, “We know that it’s a mom show but it’s more about how you guys are moms and how you’re different as moms and not necessarily like the kids. If anything comes up like that, we wouldn’t film it.”
It’s normal. The big thing is anything that is embarrassing or traumatizing. It’s normal to have kids. You look at the Kardashians and people don’t like them but I do.
I know we’re replacing them.
It’s like us hanging out as moms and how we’re moms because I’m different. I’m homeschooling. I’m vegan. It’s a different lifestyle. The other main girl that’s on it, her kids go to Catholic school. Her kids wake up at 5:00 AM. It’s supposed to be funny like I wake up at 9:30 AM and she’s up at 5:00 AM, and it’ll be a comedy like that and how it’s different.
There’s a huge difference between playing characters. If a family were to play a role in a TV series like Modern Family, that’s the comparison I like to make. That’s completely different than filming the kid having puberty.
It’s just the kids too.
It’s normal for kids to be on camera. We live in a digital world. That’s what I like to talk about is like, “This is normal. This isn’t normal.”
How do parents know what is normal and what’s not?
You have to ask yourself, “Would you want this of yourself as a child?” Put yourself in their shoes and think, “I might get some money,” but their mental health is priceless. Your childhood is like the foundation of a house and you build those as an adult. Most problems from adulthood start in childhood. If you have a bad foundation, it’s going to catch up to you. It’s one thing for a child to be criticized about their parents.
There is some lady that makes her kids sleep on the floor or something for a long time.
She breaks the law completely.
How has she not been arrested?
If she has, she’s gone to the house. She’s like a blonde lady. I don’t feel bad talking about these things because they are profiting. They’re worth $5 million. They’re making money. They’re monetizing it and their comments are turned off. They deflect criticisms. It’s more like fighting for kids.
There should be some regulation but I don’t know how people would even regulate that. Is it a YouTube sensor or is it some legal action?
Keeping it under a certain percent, maybe no more than 25% or automatically demonetizing it. I feel like it would completely change.
I know on YouTube, you can’t target kids online. You can’t do ads towards kids or something like that. I know something changed. They could do something along those lines as like if you post your kid, you don’t get the ad money or whatever.
These families are worth millions. One parent I’ve seen is every million subscribers is millions of dollars’ worth. I’ve seen a family with $5 million. That’s their net worth and they have five million subscribers. They have been doing it for a few years. They make money through ads, their Instagram and people will pay up. If it’s not YouTube directly, they will find a way. At the end of the day, the harm is we don’t know what’s going to happen. Look at child Hollywood stars, how many come out okay? That’s completely different. They’re playing a character. They’re not even expressing themselves. I don’t want to attack them. They’re good people, but what they’re doing is messed up. It’s 465 weeks, nine years of your childhood on the internet and it’s a lot.
It’s everyday. Imagine having to be on camera all the time. I’m sure it affects your personality growing up too.
Have you ever deleted a Facebook picture? I have.
Imagine if it’s not just a picture. It’s that entire month that was vlogged and it’s making money and other people are in it. It happened to be up, but at the same time, it’s a push and pull because all of a sudden, all these opportunities open. It’s like, “You can act and you can do these things.”
The Kardashians, the younger two girls grew up in it but it’s changed their lives.
I feel like it was a slither. Don’t get me wrong. My mom wasn’t perfect. It’s Keeping Up with the Kardashians and not the Jenners. They were in this little slither and that’s what you do.
It still created their entire life.
It’s not Kylie and Kendall ran the show. No one’s perfect. It wasn’t about them going to school. There were some moments that were a little extra but it’s fine.
Especially at that many years of filming and only having a couple of moments.
Who I am to judge? I have not had a kid, but when it’s extreme abuse, that’s different
What are your plans personally for the future?
The medical school works like it’s the end of high school and I’m applying to something called residency. That’s college 2.0. I took two big tests and I got scores on them. I put out applications across the country. I’ll start interviewing and then I will match to be a psychiatry resident somewhere. I’ll get my MD in May and then train. You are a resident physician is what they call it. You get to choose what you want at the end of your four years. I slowly figured out that I don’t want to do OB-GYN, surgery and things like that, and then you find what you like.
Do you ever see yourself counseling families that do online vlogging and stuff?
At this point with the rate at how my TikTok growing, I can see myself partially in entertainment. I’ve always loved to talk and find a way to entertain people.
I could see you having your own TV show.
I want to start talking about current events and psychology things. Being unique brings things to the table, but also practice because I’ve made it this far. I love working with patients. I talked about Dr. Phil and I’m not here to throw shade but he’s worth a lot of money. He’s a successful and popular show. The one thing for me is I don’t want to take advantage of people with mental illnesses. When someone is mentally ill to a certain degree, I don’t want to over interview them. I have to be careful about that. I can see myself interviewing someone. I love to talk like Oprah.
Let’s say, Wendy Williams. Do you know how she talks about people and not necessarily have them on the show? You could analyze what else other people are doing and stuff like that too, which is what you do anyway.
I would never invite a minor who’s fighting with her family. I would love to interview someone afterwards if they’re twenty and they want to talk about their experience. There are endless opportunities.
Dr. Phil did do a lot of minor stuff, right?
Yeah, and it was controversial.
The Catch Me Outside girl.
He made them famous. He pumped out celebrities. It’s just not my style. That’s how I put it. I want to be careful. He represents psychologists who are the therapists and I’m more on the medicine side. That’s the difference between psychiatrists and physicians. What about you?
I try to keep my son safe online. I had a viral video about him wearing a Hugh Hefner costume ironically. I don’t know why people care so much. He looked like he had a bad time and he’s barely even in any of my stuff. It’s crazy. I get worried about sharing stuff with him. I shared a video. It was one of the only vlogs that I did and we were at Park City, Utah. He was wearing a mask and it was a pale pink mask. This girl was like, “Why is he wearing a pink mask?” I’m like, “I don’t care. He wears pink all the time. What does it matter?” Even stuff like that bothers me and she was going back with where she’s like, “I don’t understand why he is wearing a pink mask. Why does he even have one?” I’m like, “Why do you care? Why are you judging a three-year-old?”
TikTok in general has taught me to build a thick skin. You see all the time and it’s like, “Whoa.” I think you do a good job. At the end of the day, you have to develop a filter and I get it.
The thing is my most viral videos are responding to comments. That’s what my audience likes. It is what it is.People's attention spans are fried with social media. Click To Tweet
It links videos together. It leads people into the rabbit hole, even the bunny hole. At the end of the day, when you are successful, you’re living a great life and you’re growing on TikTok. The average person who’s anonymous behind a computer can look at that and feel envious. Everyone’s felt envy to a certain degree. Some people are aware of it, some people aren’t and some people manage it in a healthy way by keeping it to themselves or maybe going to therapy. Others pick it up from strangers. It’s not that you’re putting down people. You’re doing new and that’s a product of living a great life.
I feel like everyone who knows me personally is like, “This is how she’s always been,” I’m sassy anyways. It’s funny that it’s grown into this online personality.
Isn’t TikTok crazy?
It’s crazy. Because of that random video that I posted with my son, I think I got 20,000 followers. It’s insane. I don’t get it and people will be like, “Why are you responding to things and explaining them?” I’m like, “I don’t know. That’s what my audience likes.”
It’s a platform where people can be themselves. My theory behind TikTok is that our attention spans are fried with social media. With YouTube, you have to concentrate whereas with TikTok is like a few seconds, “Boom,” and dopamine. It’s constantly changing. You can filter through things.
It’s less effort to create stuff rather than making a whole YouTube video on something.
I spent a few months when quarantine started. They called us off rotations. It was nice. I got to chill for a little bit. I went a little crazy. What was nice is that I tried YouTube. I like to have my camera and I hustled. I was making videos. I got 115 subscribers. I was like, “This isn’t going anywhere.” I tried TikTok and it was like, “Boom.”
When did you start TikTok?
I started the day after my last test of med school. I posted on the 16th of September 2020. There was a video of me walking out of the last exam that I popped off and I was posting medical stuff. I was like, “I’m going to do a series on child vlogging,” and then boom.
I followed you when you had 7,000 followers. I was one of the first people who followed you. I never even knew family vlogging was a thing, but there are many other things that you talk about too. I’ve been liking your election stuff. It looks Biden’s going to win.
I’m a Democrat. I’m excited to see what happens. I love Biden. At the end of the day, people can believe whatever they want. What’s it like being a mom? I know you’ve been transitioning to that.
My entire life has changed so much from being a mom. I used to be a crazy party girl and would go out every single night. My whole entire life and my values have changed. I wasn’t even planning to be a mom and now I’m a homeschool mom. I’m extreme. It changes people. I say on his birthday, it wasn’t the day he was born, it is the day that I was born a mom.
It’s true because your life completely does change.
Are you planning on having kids?
I’m gay. If you couldn’t pick up on it. That’s a barrier. Not anytime soon, but I thought about it.
How old are you? You’re young.
I’m 24. I’ve always said no but I don’t know where I’m going to be in 15, 10 years. I’m career-focused and that’s where I am. This does take a lot of energy, although we’ll go with the flow. I have to decide like I’d have to adopt. What about you?
We’re not having any more kids though. I made my husband get a vasectomy as soon as I had him and I was like, “We’re not doing it anymore unless you get a vasectomy. I can’t get pregnant again.” It’s funny, my husband was like, “I wish we had another kid.” I’m like, “What?” It’s easy now that he’s older. He was a hard baby. It was so hard in the first two years. Everyone’s like, “Have another kid.” I’m like, “If I have another kid, I’m getting off TikTok because I will not have time.” I can’t imagine all the moms who you don’t have any help or whatever.
It’s a completely different world for sure. What would you say your favorite part of it has been?
The older he gets, listening to him talk and pick up things, he talks like an old man. He was like, “This is so magnificent.” I’m like, “What? How do you talk like this at three years old?” It’s having those moments with him surprising me on things that he knows and says. He’s smart for his age and his little personality is cute. He’s very much like me. He talks like me and he yells like me apparently. That I’ve learned from TikTok.
Around that age, they start to become animated.
He always had a big personality. I don’t know if it was an instinct I had when he was a baby or whatever, but I think he would be a trouble kid in school. He doesn’t like to be told what to work on. He wants to learn when he wants to learn, which I’ve taught that about himself as well. I don’t know if it was maybe intuition or whatever, but I think he would get into a lot of trouble if he went to school.
We’re in a completely different era with COVID and everything so that’s one thing. I always push for school, but at the same time, I’m aware that it’s not for everyone at all. Just because it worked for me. I had my moments but I’m aware that it’s not for everyone. Once I got to med school and I had truly struggled, I was like, “I get it. Everyone hits their walls.” There’s so much in school that I’m like, “How do I do taxes?” I can treat cancer but I don’t know how. I know how to but I don’t know how to do taxes or things like that.
Did you always know you wanted to be a doctor?
Ever since I was little. I even have a mask somewhere around here. It was me in middle school envisioning myself as a doctor and stuff. I went to a health high school and I went to this accelerated program that accepted me out of high school. It’s worked out and it’s tough, but it’s good. How about you?
I don’t post a whole lot of my personal life. I never went to college. I was kicked out of high school at sixteen, which is my last formal education. I went to cosmetology school after that, but other than that, I haven’t done any other schooling or anything. I have a couple of businesses prior to TikTok.
Life is working out for you.
Everything about me is non-traditional but I’m provocative and I think a lot. I don’t care what other people think and I am who I am. You either like it or you don’t.
People like that. It’s authentic.
They also hate it though.
At the end of the day, it gets the algorithm going.
Most people that dislike me are women in their 30s and they hate me.
There’s this thing where people say, “If you think that everyone’s jealous of you, it has to do with narcissism.” There are times when it’s true. It’s straight up the fact. It’s not you go around and point fingers and say everyone is jealous of me. You’re pretty, younger and living your life. You are living it up.
It’s funny that everyone is obsessed with my husband and they don’t know anything about him. Maybe 20% of my profile is people talking about him and me responding. My husband is tired of being the star of my TikTok. He’s like, “I don’t want to be involved.”
It’s good to have your own interests and stuff.
I like doing my own things and talking to my closet. How awkward would it be for him sitting in front of my shoes taking videos with me? It’s weird.
That’s the thing about is you get to be as creative and do whatever you want. It’s interesting seeing floods of comments come in of strangers. It’s like, “That’s what you think.”
One time I was on live and the only vlog family that I know is The ACE Family. That’s the only one I knew of before watching your videos and stuff. They’re the biggest one.
They’re probably the biggest.
I’m on live and someone was asking me like, “How come your husband never comes on whatever?” I was like, “This isn’t a job for us. We’re not The ACE Family. This isn’t our career path.” People were like, “Are you talking bad about The ACE Family?” I was like, “They have a different lifestyle than we do. We own businesses. We have a professional life, whereas their whole life is YouTube, sponsorships and stuff like that. That’s not my husband’s personality at all. He’s a businessman and whatever.” It’s a good match for me.
There’s a lot of people in the public eye who have a spouse that does their own thing. It’s good to have someone who was there from the beginning.
He was supportive too. I was reading this article about Dolly Parton and her husband has never been involved in her career or anything at all. They’d been married for 50 years or something like that.
I look at Zuckerberg. They met in college before he was a young billionaire. It’s good to have that perspective and stuff, but everyone’s different.
Has anyone recognized you from TikTok?
They have. Patients, which I won’t talk about because that’s off-limits.
Do patients recognize you?
We do video chat. I’ve had one patient. I’ve only been doing this for a month. I did a child psychiatry month and kids are on TikTok. At the gym but it is what it is.
Is your following mostly women?
I don’t know why my analytics is messed up because it shows 100% of men, which is not true. It says 100%. I don’t know why.
I would assume it would be the opposite.
Everything is normal on my analytics except that, and I don’t know if it just takes time.
I don’t think so. There’s something messed up because I feel like your comments and everything are normally women, right?
Yes, it’s mostly girls. There are guys too, but it’s interesting. It’s because women are into family vlogging. I want to diversify myself though. There’s only so much I can say about it, the ethics. People want me to keep talking about families and I want to take a little break and come back to it. I want to talk about anti MLMs, multilevel marketing like Mary Kay. Interesting topics to raise awareness about things.
I know people are anti-MLMs.
It’s to raise awareness because there are some that are decent.
There are some that are bad.
The one thing is to help recognize that these people aren’t all good or all bad. There’s a defense mechanism where someone’s great and awful. There’s black and white to everything.
It’s not the people. It’s more the companies making them think they’re going to win these prizes or they can get a car and all of this stuff when it’s not attainable.
People are deceived and that’s at the expense of someone.
They win a car and then if they stop performing as well as winning the car, they have to take over the payments of the car. They’re putting a few months lease on a car for you and then you have to pay the rest of the car. It was messed up.
It’s like Chuck E. Cheese is. You buy the token and then you get those bad prizes and someone’s profiting but not you. It depends. I’ve seen YouTube and it’s hilarious but there are a lot of topics that are interesting. I can tie that in psychology. One thing is if Trump throws a fit, I want to do the psychology of a temper tantrum.Be as creative as you can, and do whatever you want. Click To Tweet
He already is. I saw him say, “My lawyers are going to fight this” or whatever. I saw a post of something he wrote on Twitter and took it down saying that it was fake news, which is bad.
I’m a gay man. I don’t support the guy.
I hate politics. The only things that I support are women’s rights, LGBTQ and Black Lives Matter. Other than that, human rights. I don’t care about anything else.
Everyone can do them. Another thing I like to emphasize to people is high emotional intelligence or self-awareness. Being self-aware of yourself is being able to hear someone else’s opinion and not get super triggered. I can get annoyed at Trump supporters, but I don’t need to go slash your tires. I don’t need to go in front of your house for a long time. The only reason why an opinion exists is that there’s a belief that’s opposite of yours. Technically, beliefs or opinions aren’t facts. My wall can be gray behind me, but someone can think it’s ugly or someone can think it looks good. There is a fact and there are two opinions.
I was talking because I was on live and everyone is about the election or whatever. I don’t even like talking about it because people get riled up. I’m like, “I think people on both sides think they’re doing something right by supporting whoever it is.” I don’t think they’re like, “I hate gay people, so I’m going to support Trump.” They think Trump supports gay people in their own mind. I posted a video saying, “I believe people should have human rights, women’s rights, LGBTQ and Black Lives Matter.” That was the entire video. I don’t associate with the political party. People in the comments are like, “This is everything Trump supports. Vote for him.” Other people are like, “This is everything that Biden supports. Vote for him.”
For me, it’s the rhetoric. The rhetoric is completely different. It’s more of the symbolism as to who we chose as a country.
They’re both. It’s, how did we end up here?
We don’t have to talk about it. I love politics, but it is what it is. I agree though. The most important things to me are women’s rights, LGBTQ rights and Black Lives Matter. Any psychiatrist should have those beliefs and be open-minded.
That’s true. I never thought about that. Supporting people that you mean and you have to be on their side.
At least professionally, you should be supportive of someone of color coming in or a fellow gay or anything like that. I have a question. On the name Barbie, where did the name originate and stuff?
I used to go by Barbie and my husband didn’t like that. I was dating this guy and he had an ex-girlfriend who did not like me. She came over to my house when I was sleeping and wrote on paint on the back of my car, “Made in China,” because she said that I looked fake and I wore fake eyelashes, which was crazy back in the day before everyone wore fake eyelashes. I changed my Facebook name to Barbie to be a slap in the face. It was when I first moved to Florida and everyone started calling me Barbie. I just stuck with the name. Bunny was always a nickname of mine and my husband started calling me Bunzy. He’s always called me Bunzy. He just never liked Barbie so I changed my name to Bunny.
It works. It’s brandable. I can talk all about relationships if there’s ever a time. Anything about human interactions, I love to talk about for sure.
Are you in a relationship?
I’m single at the moment. A lot of people were put to the test with the quarantine in mid-March 2020. It’s like, “We’re doing this.” The real test came. My brother and I both broke up in a relationship and then I dated someone over the summer who was interning here, but I’m single.
You’re moving but you don’t have a choice where or do you have a choice?
I don’t know where. How it works is I sent out a bunch of interviews all over the country and then I will start getting them back. I’m starting to get interviews. Let’s say I get fifteen interviews. I’ll interview with all fifteen of them and I’ll make a list of 1 through 15, top choice to bottom choice.
After your interview or after you talked to someone?
It’s afterwards. They’ll make it 1 through 150 of all their interviewers and this program matches it based on how high. It’s like Tinder.
That’s how they do sorority stuff.
I’ve never heard that but it’s true. It’s like a sorority but you could potentially not match. That’s the thing.
That happens at a sorority too.
It happens more in this sorority and we have better morals in medicine.
That’s also another thing you should do a video on is sororities and fraternities. That’s a good topic for you and the mental stress that they put the girls through. You have to be pretty to get into certain ones.
You’re an adult by then, so you can do whatever you want but it’s very shallow. First of all, it’s rooted in racism. I’m in Texas. They can be good though also to have that community. There are pros and cons to everything. I was lonely in my freshman year of college. I’m thrown into this new world. I have to study all the time and I didn’t make friends until my second year. It’s good to have that community, but you don’t want to get too dragged in the wrong direction. At the end of the day, you do. I could see you being in a sorority. It used to be on paper. If you went to the meetup, you’ll probably be matched with Tri Delta or something.
My stepdaughter is in a sorority and all the girls know me from TikTok now. They saw one video of me because I made her a balloon number thing and they saw her in the video and they were like, “This is your stepmom. What?” It’s been crazy.
The thing is with TikTok there were many people on it, but making videos takes effort compared to a picture. Everyone has pictures but videos that people want to watch are different. Eyes can be on you for sure.
Every time I leave my house, someone recognizes me. My husband came home and one of his business partners on a random business she had several people be like, “Have you seen this girl in TikTok?” I send her my TikToks and she’s a woman probably in her 50s. I’m like, “This is random. It’s never-ending.”
I was in shock all October 2020 because on October 1st, it blew up. A month later, I was sitting at 130,000. I was reading comments. I go through these ups and downs. They could be great but it’s not going to complete you. If your life sucks, it’s not going to fix every problem but it’s awesome and it’s great.
It’s a good platform to have and connect. I feel fulfilled by connecting with this young generation and all the messages that I get like I’m changing their lives, the way they think about themselves and everything like that. That’s why I keep making videos and stuff.
It’s a dream come true in a way like having a voice. I’ve always wanted a platform to some degree.
I never thought about TikTok. I have other things happening, but I just started posting on TikTok. As you were saying, you posted random medical stuff. I posted fashion and shoe videos and nobody liked it. Guys were like, “You suck.” I started talking and people are like, “Oh my God.” I’m like, “What?”
There’s an art to it. I’ve been posting for years on social media. I’ve been @Dr.Ryan on Instagram and I have 12,000 on there, but it’s been getting dry. I stopped posting a little bit like studying. I love Instagram though. You can tailor it to your image, but if that’s your only source of traffic, pictures are so much different.
I like it for the fact that I feel like I can connect with people better a little bit like messages, polls, stories and stuff like that. More of my daily life that I don’t post because I don’t post anything daily on TikTok. It feels weird. If they had a story option, I feel like Instagram would go down. I don’t see why they don’t but they want people to go live and stuff like that.
Videos are their thing and not pictures. It’s interesting though. How long have you been on it?
I started at the beginning of quarantine and March 2020 was when I started getting some traction. I didn’t realize TikTok been around for so long. I was talking to this other girl who I’d had a podcast with and she’s like, “I was one of the first people on TikTok four years ago.” I’m like, “Four years ago.” I feel like there are many people that are starting. It’s harder the longer you wait. If you guys are thinking about starting a TikTok, do it now because there are less people on it and more traction that you can get if you want to be an influencer or whatever.
To anyone who wants to go on YouTube, I recommend starting on TikTok first and then transferring over. I tried and I got 112 subscribers and that was also old. Here’s another thing. I’ve noticed for me is I stopped posting me and my life. No one cares that much about my life. They do but I tie it in with subjects and topics like entertainment. Your life is entertaining so everyone’s different.
A lot of the people that I interview they’re like, “I don’t know how you have many followers being yourself.” They’re normally doing niche stuff or this is how you do this, how-tos or whatever.
You’re pretty and you have the unschooling. It spontaneous and yourself. I’m not that talented. I’ve seen your videos too. I can talk and that’s what I’m trained to do through being a doctor. If you want to learn how to talk, go to medical school because you do it all the time. It becomes normal.
Do you think it helped with social skills or do you think you’ve always had good social skills?
I’ve always had good social skills. It got better and not perfect, but it enhanced it. Psychiatry residency is going to launch it too because that’s what we study. Here’s a pro tip. Asking open-ended questions, I’ve never focused on that but if you go to a psychiatrist or therapist, they might ask you, “How are you doing? How was your mood?” You know the saying who, what, when, where, why and how? If you start off with those questions, you’re more likely to get it going to get open-ended like, “How was your day going?” versus “Are your flowers green or white?” They are more tailored. If you ask open-ended questions, you can get more of a conversation. It’s things like that.
I think so too and you learn how to talk. I’m used to talking to people. My thing is I feel like when I was younger, I never watched TV. I went out, partied and talked to people. I’m used to talking to different people.
I was the same way. In college, I had a messy stage. Everyone goes through some messy stage. That’s another thing that I think is interesting. For some people in high school and college. Messy doesn’t necessarily mean you party and stuff, but you let loose somehow. You break away from that mold of having to get approval for everything.
I was like that young. I was a good kid until I was twelve and I was like, “I’m going to be myself.” That’s when I think my personality came out. I feel like my son has a strong personality. We’ll see how that goes.
I have not gone through psychiatry training. There are certain diagnoses that if you have schizophrenia, you’re going to have to take medication so you don’t get hallucinations. Instead of saying like, “You have a major depressive disorder.” It’s like, “These are the boxes you check off and medications can help.” I don’t want you to think that this is who you are. This doesn’t define you.
That’s important from a doctor too.
It’s more of an art psychiatry. Everyone’s going to be different. Some people are like, “You’re going to have ADD. You’re going to have depressive episodes.” I prefer to help people see the best in themselves. It’s like, “This is what’s going on. This can help you get the plan. Let’s get the ball rolling.”
By doing that, are you going to be helping people with nutrition and diet stuff too or are you going to be doing strictly medicine?
You can do whatever you want. It’s art psychiatry. It’s not like, “Broken bone. Let’s put on the cast.” It’s more like, “Let’s figure it out.” There are a lot of studies about nutrition and how it has an effect on your mental health. I am totally for nutrition. It’s a huge business and it’s important because I always struggled with my weight until I went to medical school. In biochem in college, I learned how the body worked. We didn’t evolve for thousands of years eating processed foods but I didn’t know that.
Did you learn that in medical school? Did you learn about nutrition in the subject? Some older doctors are like, “Take medicine and that’s it.”
Everyone has a different opinion and you are right. I don’t think nutrition was pushed into our education enough at all. It’s not just my school but it’s every medical school.
They have to follow a code.
It’s up to the physician to figure it out themselves, but it’s a huge problem. We have a nutritionist and stuff, but it’s something I think about a lot.
They go together like food, mental health and also other things that you might need for medications. You can’t tell people what to do with their lifestyle too.
You can’t, although you can recommend. I have thought about it a lot. I did it along the way until I’m an MD to give suggestions to put in your body. Telling people, “You should eat this, you should eat that,” because there are certain things I don’t want to cross yet. Not even for legal purposes, but because I want to also educate myself.
It’s a learning process for everyone involved. You don’t wake up one day knowing everything about medicine and how everything works.
There’s so much that we have to learn. You have to learn everything. I can’t even put it into words. If any of you all reading want to go to medical school, it’s worth it. Just make sure you’re not doing it for someone else. Do it for you because you like it.
Is it like a parent?
Yes. It’s common because it will burn you out. You have to want it yourself. At the end of the day, we learned so much that I feel like that’s the emphasis. It’s learning all diseases and treatment. Once you get out, you can learn all the extra stuff. There are electives that we could learn about food. People are very driven in medical school so people love to learn.
Where are you hoping that you get placed or you don’t have anything?
I pulled up the political map and all of the blue states, like the Democrat states were all the places I applied to. I’m not tied. I don’t have a relationship and anything like that. How do you like Florida?Make sure you are not doing something for someone else. Do it because you like it. Click To Tweet
I like it. We’re all over the place. We’ve been thinking about getting another place in LA. We lived in LA when I got pregnant and then I was like, “I can’t go back and forth.” It’s too much with a new baby. We bought some land in Wyoming and we’re building a house which I’m super excited about. I could see myself everywhere. We always said we wanted to live in London. I hate committing to anything. I’m surprised that we decided on Wyoming because I liked it. I feel like I don’t know where my life is going to go in the next years. I have so much on the table that I can’t decide on what I want to do.
I can see you fitting that Kim Cabe. I know you have the voice and everything, but I see the trajectory.
I know it’s coming. My goal with it is to have younger girls not value as much materialistic stuff. I have money and stuff, but that’s not my main focus in life. I love my family and doing things that I love. I still like DIY. You would never see Kim Kardashian making her own balloon numbers. I hope that I can give a good message to them.
It’s working. You’re on the right trajectory. That is the cool part of TikTok. If it wasn’t TikTok, I think you would have found a way.
The show should have been out. It’s funny that quarantine happened and then like this whole TikTok thing happened. In the beginning, when I started getting 20,000, 30,000, 50,000, MGM was calling me and they were like, “What is going on? You’re blowing up.” I’m like, “I don’t know.” They were like, “We knew this was going to happen.” They told me I couldn’t do a podcast, to begin with. They fought me on it. I’m like, “I’m doing a podcast. We’re not filming yet because of COVID.” They want a percentage of ad revenue. They might end up producing this podcast and selling the ads for themselves. I’m like, “Wouldn’t it be weird that I’m a random TikToker with an MGM produced podcast?” I was like, “I going to do my own thing.” They finally said like, “Okay,” but it was a mess. They fought me on it. I was like, “I’m doing it anyway.” It was bought by Viacom. It’s technically like CBS. They own part of Hulu. It would be streamed on Hulu, but they might put us on Pop Network, which is what Schitt’s Creek is on. They’re the new E Network. They said that they might put us on a couple of channels.
Its multiple moms sound good because it’s entertaining and it’s beautiful.
I can’t even imagine if it was me. It would be super stressful. Have you seen the black girl that I’m with in a lot of my videos?
She’s another mom on it and it’s three other girls. They’re more conservative and very Florida. They’re different than us. We all have different things going on. My friend who you see in my videos and stuff, was a teen mom. She had her son when she was sixteen. We have different stories. I’ve been friends with her for ten years and maybe even longer.
It’s cool to hear the story of a teen mom.
With our parenting styles and everything too. That will be fun. There was one girl who was my friend on the show before. They kicked her off the show because she’s been mean to me. It’s super drama. It’s been a mess. It’s a good thing for me that it didn’t happen already because I know that she’s going to make it nasty. The network had to approve the cast member change and for them to do that instantly means that it’s not a drama housewife show. They said they want it to be Larry David, situational comedy or whatever. We’re all goofy so it’ll be good.
Do you believe in astrology at all or no?
I don’t necessarily not to believe in it, but I looked at my son’s birth chart before I had him.
I believe in the birth chart. I’m curious what your birthday was?
Mine is November 15th. I’m a Scorpio. I had a party plan and I canceled it. I’m going to have a party in February or something. Hopefully, we’ll be filming by then. I was supposed to have a name change party that we were filming for first, that was earlier in the year before COVID. It’s been cancellation after cancellation.
I always ask off the record because I don’t want people to think that I’m like voodoo because not everyone believes in this astrology. I don’t want people to think I’m weird.
I think TikTok is into astrology. I get asked all the time, what my birth chart says and everything like that.
I think astrology is interesting. I don’t necessarily subscribe to horoscopes or like, “Tomorrow’s going to be a bad day because of this,” but I do think that when you’re born, it’s interesting because you have a birth chart in multiple planets. Tell me about yours?
I don’t know my whole birth chart. I feel like I should know, but I don’t. I had a C-section. When you have a C-section, you have a week to choose from when to give birth. I remember looking up all the days, my son’s birth chart and I read all his personality and stuff like that. I was like, “That’s the day I’m going to pick.”
When is his?
His is December 1st, which I also thought was a strong birthday. My due date was on the 7th. He’s going to be Sagittarius because I only had a week to choose. It was this first to the 7th. I was like 7th is like when they bombed us.
Is it the Pearl Harbor?
Yes. I don’t think that’s a good birthday. I wanted him to have a strong birthday and I feel that December 1st is super strong. What are you?
I’m a Gemini. I’m a twin and it’s a sign of the twins. It’s also a sign of communication. It fits my vibe. There’s also like, “I’m a craze hiding of Leo moon.”
How is it being a twin?
It’s interesting. We’re fraternal. He is a straight engineer in Dallas, Texas. He’s living that white picket fence dream. We’re different. I’m very out there, “I’m Dr. Ryan of psychiatry.” He’s more like a cookie-cutter and reserved. We’re good though.
Do you look alike?
No. He has lighter brown hair and I’ve had darker brown hair. Some people said, “Do you have siblings?”
I have a brother. My mom is a twin. Her twin is a boy. My mom is not even 5 feet. She’s under five feet and he’s 6’5” They’re completely different. My old nanny was a twin too. She had a boy twin. I know lots of twins.
Fraternal twins either look different or different genders. They are two brothers and sisters born at the same time.
Is fraternal genetic?
Fraternal means different.
It skips a generation and then your kids could have twins?
There are theories about that. It skips every other generation. There were many studies off the top of my head. We weren’t taught that, but for some reason, there are patterns. I don’t think it’s scientifically tied to anything because it takes two eggs simply being implanted at once. It has to do with the sperm of the donor or the man. I’m thinking gay-wise, the donor.
Sometimes it’s the donor.
If you have in vitro fertilization or moms who have trouble having kids, you significantly increase your chances. I had talked about Octomom for two episodes. She had a bunch of eggs and sperm implanted in her. If you have multiple, there’s a high chance that it was through the treatment.
Did your mom have fertility treatment?
Yes. There was a 14% chance that we would have been twins and a 1% chance of triplets or more. That’s how it happened.
Do you have other siblings or just a twin?
It’s just us. I’ve worked in the pediatrics centers and the moms get excited when they have twins. I’ve seen twins.
Did you have a donor or it was your dad?
It was my dad. If there was something wrong with the egg or the sperm, I never asked. I know the medical side of it. I’ve never thought about that. It probably was my dad statistically. I learned about this. It’s common especially nowadays with women being career-driven, which is completely normal. It’s expected.
Was your mom older?
Yes. She was 36.
It’s 36 is when they start saying it’s high risk.
Advanced maternal age is the light way of saying it.
When you think about it, it’s not even that old. We weren’t expected to live as long either.
Women were not ovarian follicles by a certain age. It gets harder in the early ‘40s. Sometimes women become infertile young.
I have a friend who always wanted to be pregnant. She was my old yoga teacher. She kept trying and trying. When she finally stopped trying and she got pregnant at 40 or 41.
The resistance wasn’t that. It’s crazy when things happen.
There’s another lady that I know that’s in my mom’s group and she thought she totally couldn’t have kids. They went through this whole adoption process, she adopted a baby, and then she found out she was pregnant. She had two babies in a row. An adopted one and then her own baby.
Fertility sometimes takes a while. From what I’ve learned, it takes a couple of months and it’s normal. If you come to the doctor like, “We haven’t been able to have a baby after three months.” As of the standard stage. I don’t think it will change, but that’s fine.
You only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant during that fertility.
It takes a year.
Did they test you before a year or no? Does it depend on age too?
It depends on, “Do you want it? Do you want the test?” You blame the man first. It’s the dude’s fault. You check the sperm first.
It’s easier to check their sperm.
They ejaculate in a cup and then they analyze it. Sperms look under a microscope is a picture of a little worm thing. If it can’t move very well then that’s when you do the IVF, in vitro fertilization. The whole point of it is to get this sperm to the egg because it can’t swim to the egg. That’s why it was my dad’s fault.
Is that genetic too? Could that have been passed down to you or you don’t know?
There are certain diseases, but they’re very rare. It can happen. You go with the guy first, and then if that’s normal, then you go down this long list for women. There are quite a few common things. Sometimes women have double uteruses. They can have two uteruses next to each other or it’s shaped differently, but they wouldn’t even know because it’s all on the inside. Sometimes that’s the problem, you have recurrent miscarriages because it can’t form fully.Everyone has their own path, but school is not for everyone. Click To Tweet
I have three friends that are trying to get pregnant and none of them have gone through to get tests or anything. They’re in the beginning trying stages.
Is that their first ones or their first kids?
One has a kid and the other two would be first.
Do you relate to moms more? Is that a common group?
I feel like all my friends are moms. It’s hard for me to be friends with people that aren’t moms because we have different values and things going on. My two friends that I was saying aren’t moms, but they both want to be moms so that’s different.
There’s a difference. There’s also a maturity thing. There are some moms who love to party or not moms, but people. You may not be in that stage. If you have a babysitter then go, but people change.
I got rid of a lot of friends when I became a mom because we have different lifestyles, goals and things that we do especially with being a homeschool mom. I’ve had always tried to have my son hang out with lots of kids. He’s always been around a lot of kids, but not now with COVID.
Do you mind me asking about unschooling?
I went down this whole rabbit hole because I didn’t want to put my son in a preschool. I live where everyone has to go to preschool. You put them on a preschool list on the day they’re born. That drove me insane. I’m like, “This is so not me. I’m with my baby every day and then now I have to put them on a preschool list.” I kept searching. I don’t even know any homeschoolers. I never knew any homeschoolers growing up. I don’t know how I landed on this whole homeschooling thing. I have a great local moms’ group.
There’s a whole board for it. There are thousands of women. I used to have parties at my house every Wednesday. I’d have parties with these huge like 30 to 60 moms. They’ve set it up by different groups and it would all be kids from within six months of age. They were all the same age at the same time. I would throw these parties and we would do it at a different mom’s house every week. As my son started getting older, I want him to have some actual homeschooling friends because I know all these kids are going to go to preschool and that’s going to be that.
I started a local nonprofit school. At first, it was a preschool and it was my nanny teaching a class of 30 kids. They were all toddlers, two-year-old. Because I started that group, I kept getting actual homeschoolers like, “Can you please do something else with more kids?” I was doing it at a big building that I was renting. It turned from 2-year-olds to 18-year-olds. I did all of these classes for all of these kids. We had all these teachers like soccer, science and art class. I ran this whole program and we would do it once a week for all these homeschoolers.
We traveled so much and I want my son to come once a week. He does a class with his friends and then we live our life for the rest of the time. With COVID, we’re not doing it. I debated on doing some physical stuff like soccer. Half the moms wanted to do it, half of them didn’t and I didn’t want the responsibility of it this semester. Next semester starts in January, which I might skip as well, depending on how everything is. I’m hoping to start again next semester.
I love that you value socialization because that’s the biggest tip. It doesn’t even take being in this role like psychiatry. I set my brother up with a classmate. She’s going to be a psychiatrist as well in my class. They were dating and they broke up during the quarantine. She was homeschooled. She’s going to be a psychiatrist. She has great social skills. Her mom always emphasized seeing other kids and socializing. You are taking it to a different level of involving other kids. If you do that, you’re golden. There are a lot of other aspects.
I liked my son hanging out with different ages. I don’t want him with three-year-olds. I want him to hang out with a two-year-old, seven-year-old and a fifteen-year-old. I want him to have actual social skills.
There are always people around you.
My house is less full but there are always people around. With the homeschooling group before, when COVID started, he was doing nine classes a week. There were nine different things that we took him to a week. That’s why it was nice for me to chill because I wanted to prove to people that he was socialized and we’re doing on, we went to music class, another homeschool group, and all these different things. It’s been so nice to chill and realize that’s how I’ve come to the unschooling part.
First, I was homeschooling and I was like, “We’re going to do this curriculum. We’re going to do this.” Quarantine happened, I realized that he’s learning so much more, not in a strict environment, not sitting down and learning. He’s teaching himself how to read because he wants to learn how to fly an airplane and read the things on the airplane. He’s into it because he loves it. We’re watching a movie and he’s sounding out the movie titles because he’s trying to figure out what he wants to watch. He’s very advanced for a three-year-old. Until I have a problem teaching him the way that I am, I’m going to roll with it.
That’s so useful. What do we use from school? Math to a degree is important like adding and subtracting.
We can go to the grocery store and we do it in real life.
Algebra and beyond is okay. I was good at it at the time, but I never used that. There are certain things that aren’t important. We’ve said we’d go down the rabbit hole of what does he want to learn? As long as you throw in socialization with that, that’s going to set them up for success.
I could see him being the youngest astronaut on the moon. With homeschooling, I’m lucky that I have the time to be able to spend with him, quality time and everything that I can focus on things that he likes. Maybe he’ll be a professional motorbike racer at twelve. He’ll have the time to explore things that he likes.
He’ll be a celebrity kid.
He’s the star. I am not the star. It’s him.
You are allowing them to choose their own path. That’s what we need. I do advocate for the public school system. I love it but I completely understand there are flaws. Anyone who’s gone through it can.
It’s a difference of people like me that have the ability, time, energy and focus to be able to do it. The kids that are in public school would get better attention if it wasn’t crowded. I love having him around. I can’t even imagine being gone from him every day.
I can tell it fires you up. The detriment of homeschool is when mom doesn’t care and dad doesn’t care. They’re like, “Kid take the SAT tomorrow.” That’s where it can be at someone’s detriment and then the socialization thing. The school system needs to change. That would be another seat. I can be serious talking about the problems with the education system.
I don’t understand why we don’t learn taxes. Those are the things you need. Everyone needs to know how to do their taxes.
In social skills, was that ever emphasized? Being able to pitch a sale or have a personality. It would be cool if they made a vlog.
They could vlog within the school and send it to the other like kids rather than on a platform or something.
It’s like filming and photography. There is a stereotype of gay men who are very successful, the career-driven elite gays. It’s because in our heads growing up, a lot of us don’t come out until later. There are people who come out very early, but you have these night vision goggles on and you are staring down the road. It’s like, “Let me distract myself from dating women or men or my gender dysphoria like Caitlyn Jenner now. I put on that tunnel vision and then let me succeed.” That was me in school. I was like, “I’m going to choose a school as my run and go.” School worked for me.
Do you always know you were gay?
Not consciously. I didn’t want to jump the gun and say that until I had been with a guy. It was right when I was eighteen that I knew. All of a sudden, you’re open to the legal world and you can be with people. I had my head in the books. Everyone has their own path, but school is not for everyone. I can completely see why.
Did your family know you were gay?
They kind of figured it out. I wrote about this in my personal statement for residency. I had a straight twin brother. Looking at like the flip of the coin. We’re twins too and we’re complete opposites. He would play sports and I would start playing sports because he would or I would start running because he would. It was like, “I needed to fit in,” because it was like, “This is getting obvious.” You need to stop the choir. It was sad but at the same time, I am who I am now. There’s this huge pressure to fit in and fit a certain mold and you don’t even realize. That’s another thing about filming or vlogging. Imagine if closet me being recorded. I was living a lie and I want to about a lot of that.
Did you come out to your family?
It’s a long story. My mom went through my phone. She tried when I was nineteen. We’re cool now, but it wasn’t cool at the time. She found out what Grinder meant. It didn’t go well.
Did she have a feeling that’s why she went through your phone?
She said she did, but at the same time, there was hope. We are a Catholic family. We’re in San Antonio. It’s a liberal-ish city, but we’re in Texas. My parents are cool but it took time. I’ve had a good transition coming out like, “Whether you like it or not, here I come.” If you don’t like the fact that I’m gay, you are either in the closet, you have internalized homophobia or you are not sure about yourself. You need to put someone else down like racism or sexism. If you need to put down an entire population of people, that speaks to a higher sense of you’re not being happy somewhere unconsciously.
There’s no reason to hate other people because of their skin color or who they love. I can’t believe that it’s even still a thing in this day and age.
Technology brought out the gay community, LGBT because we get all secretly talk. It’s the same thing with Black Lives Matter. We’ve seen this transition in society.
I even in my younger days have been with women. I don’t know what my sexuality is but I’m not only attracted to men. I’ve always been open with that too especially in my younger teens.
I see a lot of curiosity in women. Sometimes women realize that they’re fully lesbian or they don’t. One of my best friends thought she was a lesbian. Now, she’s dating a guy. I see a lot more fluidity in women than men.
It’s normal/guys think it’s sexy. I still feel like even women, if a guy was bisexual would look down on them a little bit.
There’s stigma and it’s unfortunate. There are gender roles tied to it. There is the stigma of HIV. There truly are bi-men. It could be because if you sleep with men, you are instantly labeled on the other side. I’ve seen a lot of straight guys who have hit on me in med school and I’m like, “Get away.” In Texas, people are out there and I’m not into the scene.
Is it hard dating?
We exist. San Antonio is probably almost two million people. It’s not in abundance. It’s not like I could date like a TikTok guy, it’s not all men or someone who’s also a doctor. We’re already a small minority and we don’t cluster here. Whereas, if I moved to New York, gay people are like straight people or in LA, there’s an abundance. I’m fortunate that I go to med school here, although I’ll be ready to leave.
I’m sure it’ll be bittersweet when you leave.
I’m ready. Everyone has their own personality and stuff but do you miss LA?
I could live in LA, but I’m from Albany, New York. I would never ever move back there. I’ve taken so much of your time. Thank you for talking to me. I’m going to ask you two questions before we get off that I ask everyone and there are questions that I ask my son before he goes to bed every night. The first one is what was the best part of your day?
If you were reading this, Biden was down. It looked like Trump was going to win and then all the mail-in ballots started. I posted in TikTok that hit one million views about what we’re predicting. Biden is coming back and he probably won. He’s about to win Nevada and hit 270. That’s the best part of my day and seeing patients because I wake up every day and feel fortunate to do that.
Do you see them online?
Through calls because psychiatry is talking.
The second one is, what did you learn today?
I learned a lot about your life. You have a fascinating life. I’m going to predict that Bunny is going to be the next big thing. We’re not going to give the details, but I see bunny taking off. She’s already blown up on TikTok, but that’s one thing that I have learned. The other thing I learned is that you are easy to talk to and about your unschooling.
I love talking about it. Hopefully, I’ll have you back another time. If you could tell everyone where to find you.
I love that is not in your @ but your name.
I have the @ on reserve. I’m not going to give that up. Thank you.