For many TikTok users, the name Whitney Brezinski is no stranger. With almost 400,00 followers, Whitney has become a star of her own with about 78 posted videos, one having over 805,000 views. Whitney is a professional cosmetologist and makeup artist based in Ohio. She joins The Bunny Barbie on today’s show for an intimate and revealing conversation about her rise to TikTok fame and how and why she decided to end her toxic relationship with drinking.
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Good Vibes With Whitney Brezinski
How are you?
I’m great. It’s good to see you and finally meet you.
I’m happy about this conversation. I’ve been waiting for so long.
It’s hard being such an independent businesswoman.
If you want to tell everyone you’re @, what you do, who you are.
My @ is my full name, Whitney Brezinski on every social media. I am a cosmetologist. I post TikToks and videos about my life and things I care about. I like to promote confidence in all women and all people. Positivity and throw some good vibes out there on the internet since it can be a pretty dark place.
I’ll never forget when I first saw your videos. I went through your whole page. I was like, “I’m obsessed with her. I love her vibe so much.”
Nobody expects that they’re going to blow up a little bit. I was like, “Oh, crap.” I just run.
I post a lot more than you do. I feel like every time you have a viral video, it’s crazy.
Going from somebody who I was like, “I’m going to post TikToks ranting about things.” I used to do that on my Instagram stories. Everybody was like, “You need to make a TikTok.” I was like, “Whatever.” It happened overnight. I was like, “I have too much anxiety for this.” I would be content with 2,000 followers and then it kept going. I’m like, “This is so many people.”
You’ve been open like you had some anxiety/mental health stuff too with posting stuff.
It gets to be a lot. You handle it well too. I surround myself with positive people. I’m not used to negative comments and negative energy being in my space like that. All of a sudden, you have a bunch of strangers on the internet that take one 60 seconds video. You can’t fit everything into a 60-second clip. I’m not a fan of terrorism. I don’t love it. People will come on there and be like, “You are cool with regular murder. You’re cool with this.” I’m like, “I can’t say everything I hate in one video. I don’t have time.”
Do people recognize you at work?
I’ve had somebody come in to get their hair done that knew me on TikTok. That was cool. She was super nice. Other than that, I’ve been working at the bar a couple of times and people have been like, “Are you Whitney Brezinski?” All my friends at the bar are eye roll to infinity and beyond. They’re like, “She’s Whitney.” They all joke, “Take that famous.” I’m like, “Shut up. Leave me alone.” It’s all been good. It’s all been positive experiences. I thought that happens to you a lot too.
I’ve left my house now four times so I haven’t done the show since then. Every time I’ve left my house, someone has come up to me. It’s weird for me. I don’t live in a huge town. It’s like a normal town. My followers, I know they’re from all over the world. It’s not even just in the US. At least 50% of them are not in the US. I don’t even have 500,000 followers. It’s not like I have millions and millions of people. It’s so weird that every time I leave the house, there’s someone asking you to take a picture of me. I’m like, “This is so weird.”
You’re very recognizable though.
I feel like I’m not. That is so funny. I’ve had masks on. I look like I’m normal looking.
I have news for you. You’re meant to be an icon. I love it.
That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
You have such a unique vibe. It’s very bougie and fabulous, but so nice and down to earth. You don’t get that mix often. It’s a unique look that people get to have into your life because you feel relatable. Even though some of the stuff I’m like, “I cannot relate to that but I love that for her.”
I never had money growing up. It’s one of these things where I’m like, “It’s cool but it’s not like the center of my life.”
It’s not everything. I feel like that perfect mix doesn’t happen often.
It gets lost with a lot of people. The whole thing is it drives them. It’s what they do or they don’t care. I feel like I’m in the middle. It’s cool.
It looks like if all the money was gone, you still have built such a happy life for yourself.
I’ve got a great family.
Your videos with your son are freaking adorable. I’m like, “He’s just such a little grown man.” I love seeing them.
The way that he talks too, he watches lots of English shows. He’s obsessed with English shows. My husband grew up in London. His mom has an English accent and everything. My husband doesn’t. He had a strong English accent from watching these English shows for a while. He lost a little bit, but he’ll say funny things. If he wants you to do something, he’ll be like, “Go give it a go.” I’m like, “What?”
I’ve never met him but I’m like, “I love you.” You have many people out here that haven’t met you that love you. He’s adorable.
He was with me the first time that he’s ever been with me when someone recognized me. He thought it was my friend and didn’t care. It’s going to be weird for him years from now. I’m homeschooling him so he doesn’t have to deal with it at school. I’m sure people would be like, “Your mom.”
Some people that are awesome about it. Some people that are like, “Your parents are haters out here. I hear you.” It’s fine.
What’s going on with you? Did you move? Are you going to move? Are you planning on moving?
I love Cincinnati. I’m not one of those people that’s a hater of my hometown, home city.
You’ve always been there.
It’s farms, tractors and way outside of Cincinnati. I moved downtown. I’ve lived in the same place for a few years because this apartment is great. It was a great time when I was in a bar scene. In Cincinnati, it’s easy to know everybody. It was so much fun. Bar hopping in every bar, I knew the bartenders. I would sit in the bar and I knew everybody that was sitting there. I quit drinking and I still like to go out and talk to those people, but I like to do outdoor stuff now. I realized that everything I like to do I have to travel for. I’m like, “Why am I living somewhere? Why don’t I just live somewhere where I can do all the things I want to do?”
Have you decided where?
My top three are probably Denver, Sedona or Scottsdale, somewhere in Arizona or Charlotte. I’m visiting Denver in December and then I might go to Arizona in November and then I’ll have to visit Charlotte sometime and then I’ll make my decision.
I feel like Charlotte is going to be too Southern for you.
I’m very much like a West girl.Our drinking culture right now is crazy. You don't realize until you get out of it. Click To Tweet
I don’t see you in Charlotte.
West is more of my speed. Once you get over to Denver, there are many neighboring states and cities. I’ve made up my mind that it’s probably going to be Denver, but I’m excited.
I see you in Denver. Scottsdale’s cool though. I see you over in the West. Do you feel comfortable talking about your journey of not drinking?
Yes. I’ve only made one YouTube video. It was to celebrate my year of not drinking and I’m an open book about all topics especially that one.
I have a lot of young readers. How did you get to that point? Maybe some lows you hit, how your life is now not drinking? I don’t drink either. I haven’t completely stopped. I drink maybe twice a year. I used to drink every single day. I’ve got that similar experience.
It’s normalized. Our drinking culture right now is crazy. You don’t realize until you get out of it.
It’s a drug.
Everybody is in this bubble where you and all your friends do the same thing. You think all this crazy stuff is normal and then you get out of it. You’re like, “That’s not normal.” For example, I see memes all the time on Instagram that I would have laughed at a couple of years ago. I read them and I’m like, “That’s sad and scary.” It’ll be like waking up after a blackout and your friends tell you like who you hooked up with. I’m like, “It’s not funny. Are you okay?”
Everyone tagging their friends, I’m like, “Do you need help?” I wasn’t a huge drinker in high school. We partied a little bit, but my drinking was okay in high school towards the end I started drinking. When I moved to Columbus to go to cosmetology school after high school, I drank a lot. I feel like even there, it was still pretty normal college kid 20, 21 drinking. When I moved back to Cincinnati, I started working at a bar. I got into the bar scene. It escalated over time. You get around people who are all doing that and you push people away who are like, “It doesn’t seem great.” I’m like, “Never mind, I won’t be friends with you. You’re a good influence.”
It was a blast. I ended up on vendors sometimes where I would keep drinking because I would wake up and be embarrassed about the night before. I’d be like, “It was Sunday fun day through this one.” If I ever did something pretty embarrassing, I would be like, “I’m going to give up drinking for a month or two months.” Two months is probably the most I did. That would be my like, “I can do this. I can drink responsibly because I can give it up. It’s not a problem.”
I feel like there are different types of alcoholics, different brands. Everybody has this old school view where you wake up and you pour a glass of whiskey to get through the morning. It’s like, “No. I could go months without it,” but the minute I would start drinking again, it was 0 to 100. That wasn’t great. I feel like it was getting out of control. I’m a hard-headed person. I had to hit rock bottom to get it. My rock bottom was I drove when I was drunk. I’m not a person that ever was like, “I’m so good at this. I do it all the time.” I put everyone in Uber, that was not who I was. I wrecked my car badly. I got a DUI. I went to jail for a day. It was horrible. I woke up in the jail cell. I was like, “This is not who I am as a person.” After that, I knew I was never going to drink again when I woke up. I was like, “I’m never drinking again.” I haven’t since.
That’s good for you to realize that and you’re so young too.
At that time, I was 25 when I would go out to bars. It’s crazy how many guys would be trying to buy me drinks. I tell them I don’t drink. They were like, “How old are you, 25 and you’re already done drinking?” I’m like, “I’ve had many years of drinking into a field.”
I started partying at 11, 12. I started going to nightclubs when I was 12, 13. I was young. I will never forget this. My first fake ID was a black girl’s ID and they still let me in everywhere. A little teen, it’s fine. I partied a lot. I had pancreatitis. My pancreas was inflamed when I was sixteen. I couldn’t move. I had the pancreas of a 40-year-old alcoholic at sixteen. I had to go to the hospital. I would throw blood and stuff after drinking. It was horrible. I had an ex-boyfriend. He was horrible to me in every other way, but he was like, “I’m not going to date you if you continue to drink,” because he didn’t drink. It was like a good thing for me. When I was with him for two years, I didn’t drink for two years. I moved from New York and broke up with him because he was a horrible person. I moved to Florida and I started drinking again. I drank every day from eighteen until I met my husband. Even me and my husband drank every day for a year when we met each other. After a year we were like, “This isn’t it anymore. We need to turn our life around.”
If you can have a healthy relationship with alcohol, if you can outgrow that phase, then that’s fine. I feel like there are a couple of ways that end. Either you outgrow it and then you have a healthy relationship, you do something and you realize you can’t drink at all or you just keep doing it. You blink and you’re in your 40s. Your life is not where you want it to be. That’s a shame.
It’s a slippery slope. I see that a lot with my friends. I have a lot of friends younger and older. I feel like some of them haven’t made that transition yet. A lot of them I’m like, “I love you. I appreciate you. I can’t be there for you right now because this is not a good lifestyle.”
You outgrow all these things. I feel like everybody has things that hold them back, mine was drinking. Once you get that under control, whatever’s holding you back, you can do all of this stuff that you’ve always wanted to do and be the person you want to be. When you still see people struggling that you’ve tried to help and it hasn’t worked. It’s like, “I can’t relate to being in your own way like that all the time. I am on an upward trajectory. If you’re not coming up here with me, I’m not going to see you very much.”
What is super toxic too is like the mom drinking culture. It is cool to have moms’ night and wait until your kids go to sleep and drink wine every night. I see memes and stuff about it all the time. It’s not funny.
It’s that back to school supplies over the wine section. I feel like that’s not funny at all. Not only are you like, “I got a drink to get through hanging out with my kids,” but also, you’re supposed to be educating them. I know it’s a joke, but I feel like it’s not for a lot of people.
It’s fine if moms want to drink and it is what it is. I don’t think it should be socially pushed on new moms that like, “How you be part of the mom squad is to drink all the time.” That’s not it.
I don’t know what the difference is between wine and every other alcohol and liquor, but wine isn’t real alcohol or something. It’s fine to drink three glasses of wine at dinner and then drive your kids home. I’m like, “It’s still alcohol.”
It’s some wine, sweetie.
It’s still as bad as drinking the old fashions and trying to drive. It is crazy though. All the drinking culture and then that’s why I’ve been so open with my journey because you look and that’s all you see. I want to show people that you can still have so much fun. You don’t have to drink and you don’t have to be a hermit and sit in your house and do boring things if you don’t drink.
You still bartend. Is that what you said? Is that hard for you?
There are a couple of those. There are Christmas lights up on the inside and we only use plasticware. It’s very much a bar that people do not pride themselves on behaving in. It’s easy to look out into the crowd and be like, “This is why I don’t drink because crazy stuff happens.” It’s a restaurant as well. It’s tame sometimes during the day. At night, it’s like, “There are no rules in here apparently.” I’m a very social person. If I wasn’t able to be around alcohol at all, giving up drinking would have been way harder, but I’m very stubborn so I’m not worried about it. There’s been no time where I’m like, “I might drink,” since I gave it up. I love being out in that atmosphere, bartending with my friends and having a good time. I still go to bars with my friends.
Do you have friends that don’t drink?
My best friend doesn’t drink. She’s 6 or 8 months ahead of me. She quit drinking before I did.
That’s good to have someone on your side.
She is the best human being. The rest of my close friends, they all have healthy relationships with alcohol. I’m like, “This is nice. It couldn’t be me. I’m 0 or 100. There is no number in between, but I’m proud of you guys.”
I’m the same way. I don’t drive anyways. I wouldn’t be drinking and driving. I get hungover. I used to drink every day and it wouldn’t bother me. I had four cocktails and I was throwing up. I hungover for two whole days. I’m like, “This is not worth it. I don’t want to do this.” I feel like I miss out on my life and my son.
That’s what’s crazy is not only the money thing. I spent so much money on drinking, but the time. I’m like, “How did I pay my bills when I was drinking?” Also, the amount of time. You have to think from the time you’re getting ready to go out to going out to drinking, to then that glass the whole night, then the whole next day you’re hungover. That is many hours that I could have been doing something productive, which is fun to do sometimes, but not every day.
I have so much more fun hanging out with my family and doing other stuff than drinking or being hungover. It’s okay every once in a while. Time goes by so much faster when you’re drinking. Time flies. Time is the most precious thing we have.
When I go out now and there’s a definite time in the night where I’m like, “It’s time to go home.” There’s a couple of telltale signs I see a girl crying. That’s strike one. I see a couple arguing, strike two. Somebody just threw up like, “I’m out. See you guys. This was great.” The next day I get a bunch of texts like, “Listen to what happened after you left.” All of these negative, none of them are positive things. I’m like, “See why I left at 10:30 PM.”
How do you hang out with your friends? Do you go out to bars and stuff or do other stuff?
I love food. I love trying new restaurants and I am the least picky eater of all times. I will order something on the menu that I’m like, “I don’t know what any of these words mean.” I like to eat at different restaurants and try out different places. We’ve been doing a lot of hiking and kayaking. I went to Asheville and we did ziplining and things like that.
Just my friends. I am single right now, which is fine with me.
That’s good especially if you’re moving.If you can have a healthy relationship with alcohol and you can outgrow that, then that's fine. Click To Tweet
I’m an independent person. It’s nice being like, “I have to make this decision. The only person I have to consult is me.” I want to move, so see you.
Are you going to still do cosmetology?
Yes, that’s the plan. When I go out into Denver, I’m going to look up some salons that are cool and I have a couple of friends out there. Hopefully, they can give me some recommendations and I can try to find a place. I’m down to do whatever. I like to think of myself as a Jack of all trades. Something definitely in the beauty industry, I would love to do that.
Are you more into makeup or hair or you like both?
I like doing my own makeup. I was doing it on clients and things for a while, but I have more fun when I do it on myself. If I were to take more makeup classes and feel more comfortable with more training and things like that on different people. I am somebody who if I do it, I have to do it perfectly. I feel like I would want more training and then I would be okay with doing makeup, which might be something I do, but it is different for different people.
Do you plan on doing anything with your social media because you have such a big following now?
I want to start doing the whole YouTube video thing, but also if I do anything, I want to do it right. With TikTok, I will think of something. I’m like, “People need to know this is my stance.” It is nice to throw things out there and not worry about it. With YouTube, you have to have a little more of a plan. That’s the other thing, I’m investing in a laptop finally. I don’t have a laptop right now. I’m going to get a laptop, a camera. I have some ideas. I’m going to get it going. It would be such a waste to have this following and people who care about what I’m doing and what I have to say, which I was shocked by and to do nothing with it. I know that’s why I love that you’re doing this show. That’s cool.
Did you always know you wanted to do cosmetology?
I was into doing my makeup and my hair. I feel like everybody says this. In high school, I was doing everybody’s hair and makeup for homecomings, proms and things like that. Even I had some friends that went to a different school and in senior year, they texted me and they were like, “We’re going to go to a professional to get our hair and makeup done. I’m sorry.” You’re sorry. None of you are paying me. I’m fine with that. Three of them called me crying, “You have to fix this. It’s terrible.” I always loved doing that. It’s funny because in high school, my junior and senior year, I did this program where you could take all your classes at the local college. I was over high school. I did that. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I was interested in psychology. I have a hard time making decisions. My mom was like, “Why don’t you look into cosmetology school? You’re good at that. You like that and that’s without any training.” I don’t know why I had not thought of that already, but she of pushed me to do that. I’m thankful because there are a lot of people in cosmetology school were talking about how their parents were like, “That’s not a real school. That’s not a good job, all this.” My mom’s like, “Go, you should do it. You’re so good at it.”
I have my cosmetology license too, which is super random.
You didn’t want to do anything with it afterward?
I was kicked out of high school when I was sixteen. I haven’t been to school since I was sixteen. I knew that didn’t want to go to college. I was in New York. There was some kind of program that helped kids. I was someone who needed help because I was in a bad place. I don’t remember if they paid for college or whatever, but I know they paid for my cosmetology school. I was like, “I’ll just go.” I always wanted to do special effects makeup. I’m older than you. This was brought before YouTube. Everyone said that you have to go to cosmetology school to do makeup or else no one’s going to take you serious.
I went to cosmetology school. I like doing men’s hair more than women’s hair. I fell out of love with it. It was not what I wanted to do. I wanted to do makeup. After I graduated, I had got my license and then I moved to Florida. I was like, “I don’t want to transfer my license.” I still have my license in New York. It’s funny because in Florida, you have to do training and stuff, take a test every year to redo your license. In New York, you don’t have to do anything. All you do is you pay $25 and you just renew your license. I’ve had it for several years.
You would think in New York they would have some strict regulations. We have to have more hours than other states and we have to do all this stuff.
How many hours do you need?
I don’t remember the exact number of hours, but it took me eleven months. It is the standard. You go on your own hours. I had a boyfriend at the time. He went to college and played baseball an hour away or so. Part of the year, I would go there all the time and then call in and be like, “I’m not coming in,” because it doesn’t affect you. You have to make up those hours. He went to play baseball somewhere in Wyoming in the summer. I was like, “I need to make up all this.” I was working all the time at this country club I worked at. I was going to school many hours. I don’t know how I survived. Would you ever move out of Florida or do you want to stay there?
We have businesses here, so we’re stuck here. We bought another house. We bought some land in Wyoming that we just broke ground on. They’re pouring the cement for it. It’s the coolest place in the whole world. We have our hangar, our airplane in our garage.
Did you post a video of that?
We stayed at the house next door, but then we bought the land down the road. You have to be a pilot to own lands there, which is cool. Everyone has similar interests. Everyone has helicopters, little mini planes, ATVs and snowmobiles.
I would like to come and visit when it’s done.
First, we’re building a hangar home with four bedrooms that sleeps twelve people and then we’re building a house next door. We’ll have tons of guest rooms, which is what we don’t have in Florida. We don’t have that kind of space. We have one guest room. It’s more like our house. If we have guests in our space. Whereas there, that’s why we’re building it like that. Its own kitchen, it’s in own house, which will be nice. We’ve been talking about getting a place in LA again too, maybe a condo or something, but I don’t know. I like LA. I’m undecided. I never want to commit to anything.
That’s how I am. I have many different interests and I feel like you do too. It’s like, “This is positive about Denver.” I’ve never been anywhere out West even California, I’m like, “I think I would love it there,” but I’d think I would love it anywhere. It’s hard being somebody who loves everything. You can’t go wrong with any decision in that case. I’ll be happy wherever I go.
With COVID, my husband and me, it’s the only thing we used to fight about. He wanted to buy a second home and I didn’t. I’m like, “I want to go somewhere new.” Every time we travel once a week and he’s like, “I want to have a reason to go somewhere and not make stuff up.” Then COVID happened, we rented the place there for a week. We bought it at an auction. I was like, “I love this place.” I was there for five hours and we put a down payment on the lot. Now, I’m open to an LA place soon. It’s an hour and a half flight from Wyoming, which for me LA is a four and a half hour to five-hour trip out there and four and a half back. It’s a long way.
It sounds like we had similar lifestyles growing up, crazy party girls at some point. It seems like you have a super healthy, happy relationship with your husband. When you met him, were you ready to settle down?
Not at all. I had broken up with my ex-boyfriend three weeks before I met my husband. I met my husband when I was 23. I had broken up with him and I knew that I wanted something different for my life. One of my best friends, her husband is exactly the same age as my husband. She’s a couple of years older than me. I went over to her house. I stayed with her for two weeks after I broke up with him. I was sad and in a weird space. She helped me. We manifested my husband 100%. I was like, “I want someone who’s older, fun, like her husband but someone else.” We got introduced by mutual friends. We met and the next day he’s like, “I’m a pilot. Let’s go on a trip.” I’m like, “Okay, whatever.” We left the next day, went to Austin. The next day, we went to Vegas, the next day went to LA. It was so much fun. It’s like 50 Shades of Gray kind of thing.
When we got to LA, he had had some other friends. We were with this girl. She didn’t speak English very well. She was French. There were these other girls and they were making fun of her. I got in a fight with the two other girls that were making fun of the girl who didn’t speak English very well. We were out partying, whatever. I was upset about it. I’m like, “They’re not nice people.” I remember we went to sleep and he woke up in the morning. He’s like, “Will you please be my girlfriend? I love you.” I’m like, “All right. I guess.” I was half in it and then we’ve been together ever since. We broke up twice for one week each in the first year we were dating, but it’s been good other than that.
We broke up one time. I want to move on with my life. I’m going to move to LA. We still had our place in LA. I was going to move out there. It was for New Year’s. We had been broken up maybe a full week and I was getting ready to go. I packed all my stuff to go out there for New Year’s. I was going to the Playboy Mansion for New Year’s. I had this whole thing planned, “I’m single now. I’m going.” It was two days before New Year’s. My husband’s friend drove me to the airport. He’s older and he drove slow. He made me miss my flight.
My husband, he’s my boyfriend at the time, he bought the flight on miles. You can’t even change it without calling him. I called him. He was out of town anyways with his daughter. I was like, “I need you to change my flight. Your friend made me miss my flight.” He was like, “I can’t live without you. I don’t want you to go. I’m going to fly home right now.” He was on four different layovers to get from LA to Florida. It took him to a whole 24 hours flying to come back. He was like, “I’m determined. Do not go to LA until I get back.” We’ve been together ever since. I had the plane ticket that I missed to go. Maybe two years later when we bought our house, I had an artist build this whole big thing of the plane ticket. That was the reason we were together. He’s like me. It is what it is, but he’s calm. I’m emotional and crazy. I’ll scream and he never gets mad. He never gets upset, which is so good for me. If I’m with someone else that also gets riled up, it’s not good.
You have to have that balance. I assume you probably bring him out of his shell a ton.
He’s not social. He’d go to work and come home and he’s fine. I get him out of his shell a little bit. His ex-wife was like that too. She’s a Scorpio as well. We took a personality test and we have the same personality. It’s funny.
You guys got along fine.
We’ve been together for a long time. There have been ups and downs. My husband had an ex-girlfriend. There was someone he was with for eight years in between me and her, which is also why we get along so well. It’s not he broke up with her to be with me. They were divorced for ten years. Her and I did not get along. She told his daughter that I was a porn star before I had ever met his kids.
Planting that ideas into children’s heads is a great marker of a nice human being.
She was 13 or 14 at the time. It was not good. It was rocky. She didn’t want to leave the family. She would cry that she wasn’t invited to Thanksgiving, Christmas and whatever. Me and his ex-wife would fight about that. We had to talk maybe a few years ago. We were close at first, then it got messy with the ex-girlfriend. She’s like, “I thought you wanted him all to yourself.” I’m like, “I don’t want to see his ex-girlfriend who is a horrible person to me.” There were multiple things she did at family functions. We are a family now. We’re not going if she’s going to things. She was finally like, “I get it. That’s it.” We finally cut her out of our life and everything’s been good.
It sounds like there was a common denominator of drama. Once you cut that out, everything is smooth sailing. It was exactly how I expected.
It’s ironic because she is with someone who’s ultra-famous. I’m like, “Why can’t you move on? I don’t understand. You have a boyfriend.” They started dating a month or two after me and my husband. I’m like, “I’m with my husband for a few years, why don’t you have your own life? I don’t get it.”
It’s crazy too as I always think about this with ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends too. Logically in my head, if I wanted somebody back, I probably wouldn’t act like a psychopath. They’re not going to be like, “I made the wrong decision getting rid of her.” They’re going to be like, “Thank you for confirming everything that I thought.” It blows my mind how people keep being crazier and crazier and out crazy-ing themselves.” I was like, “That is not the strategy girl. You’ve got to play it cool. Even if you’re doing crazy things in your head, that’s fine. Don’t let everyone know about it.” It’s a problem.
I don’t understand why he doesn’t care that she’s still obsessed with this family. She’s still now trying to reach out to them. It’s been so long at this point though. She has a hard time moving on.Once you get whatever's holding you back under control, you can do the stuff you've always wanted to do and be the person you want to be. Click To Tweet
My family is very loyal. They’re like, “Who do we hate? They did what to you? Unfollow them on Instagram.” My mom is young, so she follows. She’s on Instagram that she’s active on. She’s like, “I’m going to have to unfollow her on Instagram since she did that to you.” I’m like, “Go ahead, mom. I do not want to continue communicating with these people anyway.” That’s what you have to do.
How old was she when she had you?
She was fifteen when she had me and eighteen when she had my little brother and then we are both with my dad. My dad was in the Navy. They went to high school together. This might be a little TMI, after a couple of bottles of wine with my father, I found out that I was the result of them both losing their virginity to each other for the first time. My mom was like, “We’re not doing that again because I’m terrified. I’m pregnant.” How you would be if you were fifteen doing that. Lo and behold, she was pregnant. I was meant to be here. I always think about that. Could you imagine me having an eleven-year-old and a seven-year-old right now? No.
Did she get pregnant at fourteen and she had you at fifteen?
Were your grandparents around a lot?
Yes. I am so close with my grandparents. My grandma always jokes. She’s like, “We don’t know how you turned out normal, but look at you. It’s great.” My whole family is close. I feel like you have a lot of stories that people have this stereotype that if you have a young mom or a teenage mom, it’s like, “You had this horrible life. Everything was a struggle.” There were struggles, but I always felt loved all the time and encouraged. I would like to be financially stable and be able to do all the things I want to do, but I am the product of money does not buy happiness. You can be broke as hell and have such a happy life.
Two of my close girlfriends had kids at sixteen. I totally get the whole young mom thing. I got pregnant when I was 25 and I still felt I was young.
I feel the same way. I go back and forth on whether I’ll have kids or not.
I did not want kids.
I’m leaning that way. I could see my life going either direction and I’ll be happy with either, which I’m happy to be in that place because then I don’t have all these expectations for myself. If I want to do it, I’ll do it. If I don’t, I won’t. I like being in that position.
You scare yourself about it. It’s like, “I need to meet a guy and I need to do this by this age.”
That’s when you end up in these unhappy, crazy situations is because my goal has never in my life been, “I want a boyfriend. I want a husband. I want to have kids.” My goals are all these other things. If those happen on the way to my goals, if I meet somebody on the way to my goals, it’s on the same trajectory, then that’s great. That’s not my end goal.
It’s important too. I get these young girls like, “My boyfriend broke up with me. What do I do?” They DM me on Instagram all the time. They’re young too, 13, 14. I’m like, “Please stop worrying about him. Focus on yourself.” I wish I didn’t spend so much time focusing on men and dating guys. I wish I had put more of that energy into myself. I would have been like a better me earlier on happier.
I think that all the time. I’ve been some variation of who I am now always. I haven’t changed completely, but there are things, I’m like, “That was dumb.” I wish I had the confidence I have now. I wish I had the wherewithal to put a stop to things that I didn’t deserve. If we didn’t go through that and deal with all that BS, then we wouldn’t be where we are now. It’s so easy for me to be like, “I won’t put up with anything.” None of us are married. They were ranking who they thought was going to get married in what order. I was last on everyone’s list. They were like, “It’s just because you won’t put up with anything.” I’m like, “You don’t have to justify it to me. I take that as the highest compliment. Thank you.” People look at it and they’re like, “You’re too picky.” I’m like, “No, you guys put up with red flags and then they turn into bigger red flags. You’re shocked that that happened. They told you who they were at the beginning. You just wanted to give them more chances.”
It’s good to tell young girls. I don’t know if you’re up on the TikTok relationships, but everyone gets so upset when someone breaks up with another person. There’s so much drama around it. I’m like, “Please break up with them. You’re supposed to date as many people. Don’t feel bad about dating lots of people or putting yourself out there.” You’d rather be happy and know what you want than be with someone. Either later on, this isn’t the person you want to be with or you didn’t get to experience dating more people.
Either the relationship goes south and you learn so much from it or you end up marrying them. Everybody that I had in my life that I dated or talked to or whatever, they served a purpose at that time in my life and they taught me something. I’ve been lucky to not have any toxic relationships. I’ve only been in two serious relationships, but I’ve dated a lot. I’ve learned so much. I’m like, “I have all the wisdom to give everyone.” You’re right about the young girls. I get DMs. They’re like, “My boyfriend told me I look ugly like this. What should I say to him?” I’m like, “Say to him? Pack your bags, leave him and don’t give him any explanation. Block him on everything.” That’s another reason that I brand myself as everybody’s professional hype woman. I think so much of it stems from a lack of confidence. I’m like, “If I can tell you how great you are, maybe you’ll start to believe it.” When you have that confidence, you don’t deserve people treating you like shit. You put a stop to it immediately. That’s what everyone needs. It’s all the confidence.
No one can do it for you. It’s only self-work and finding that within yourself. You can ask for advice from everyone in the world. If you don’t find that confidence in yourself, it’s not going to help especially in relationships because guys are not the best.
My friends and I always talk about dating ourselves. That’s important. What you would want from a guy to do for you do that for yourself and you’ll find that. I remember I was single for five years in between my first ex and my ex now. I remember I was having a conversation with some guy that was trying to hit on me in the worst way. When they’re like being an asshole and you’re like, “This is not working and it will never work.” He was like, “Why have you been single for so long?” I’m like, “It’s because I haven’t found anyone worth my time.” He’s like, “Are you trying to find a boyfriend?” I’m like, “No, I’m not trying to find a boyfriend. I’m trying to live my life. If I find one, that’s great.” He was like, “What if you end up alone and you never get married?” I’m like, “If I end up alone and I never get married, do you know how much cool shit I’m going to have done? Think about how much time I would have if I grew up and I never got married. My life resume is going to be extensive. I’m going to have done all this cool shit.”
What did he say?
He never has anything to say back. He’s like, “Okay. I guess.”
It’s not like you’re 40 and you’ve never been in a relationship or anything. You’re so young. It’s normal.
It’s funny when people try to consult me about things that I’m like, “I don’t need consoling.” My ex now and I broke up, my clients at the salon are invested in my life. I told them, and some of them are older and they’re like, “Don’t worry, you’re so young. You have so much time.” I’m like, “Who are you telling? I know.” There’s no part of me that’s like, “No, my clock is ticking. I need to get married.” They’re like consoling me. I’m like, “It’s making it worse that you’re consolidating. I don’t need you to do that.”
With modern medicine, you don’t need a man to have a baby if that’s what you want to do anyways.
One of the directions I see my life playing out is if I don’t end up settling down with somebody and I’m successful and I have the means to do so, I would either foster a kid or adopt a kid by myself. We can be little buddies and that’ll be fine. There’s just so much. People are concerned with getting married, having kids. There’s so much more to life than that.
Especially your relationship with yourself is the most important thing.
Something could always happen and not just breaking up. Something bad could always happen. If you’re left with yourself, you better be happy on your own before you get into a relationship with somebody else or else.
I’ve taken so much of your time. I’m going to ask you two questions before we get off. There are two questions that I ask my son every night before we go to bed. The first one is what was the best part of your day now?
It’s talking to you, not that I’ve done that much. I get a good sense for people.
I felt like I already knew you before this.
I love when people say that. I’m like, “I feel like I’ve known you forever.” It’s nice talking to people that you can just tell is a good human being. We’re on the same page with so many things. I love that.
Question number two is what did you learn now?
I learned that so much can be accomplished when you are strong, independent and confident. I love everything you stand for. I love the message that you’re putting out there. You’re doing all of this stuff. If you wanted to, you could call it quits where you’re at right now and be set, be content where you’re at in life. I feel like you’re always pushing yourself and doing more things. It’s like, “What’s the next thing I can do?” I feel like that’s a good motivator. Even for me, to witness through you. I feel like you naturally motivate people. I love that.
It’s not meant for that to come back about me.
I have to. I’m not kidding. I woke up, I made myself breakfast, I did my makeup and then I got on a work meeting. I got on this show. I haven’t done anything besides that. Fortunately for me, you’re 70% of my day.
You too, your energy and your vibe is good for young girls to see, go off of and aspire to be especially. I’m a different vibe. I’m married with a family. You’re independent doing it yourself and young. It’s beautiful to watch and see.
I love more of that on the internet because it can get so toxic. I’m like, “I know who I am so that doesn’t affect me.” If you’re a young girl getting on the internet, getting on social media, my heart breaks when you see that.
Which is especially why I respond to many mean comments. Everyone’s like, “Stop responding.” Those are the things these young girls inspire me to not care when people say that about me. I don’t do it because I want to fight with people. It’s a better message that I’m putting out there for standing up for myself that other girls are learning that they can also stand up for themselves.It's hard being somebody who loves everything. You can't go wrong with any decision in that case. Click To Tweet
I hate it when people say that, “Don’t give them attention.” Sometimes I want to roast them and I have time, but also let me stand up for myself. That’s what I say, “You’ve got unlucky. I usually don’t have the time, but now I do. Let’s get into it.”
Thank you. This was wonderful. Hopefully, I’ll have you back another time.
I would love that. I can’t wait to see where everything goes for you. I have loved chatting with you. Thank you.
- Whitney Brezinski – TikTok
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